Now I can't sleep

I'm sick and coughing and not tired. I can't sleep.
I don't want you to forget about Marie letters while you're at school unless I make you write me one.
Half of the beauty of it is that I check it sometimes and I'll have all new letters and it's the best surprise.
When you go out its like a knee jerk reaction.
I'm not actually upset about it. I don't actually want you to stay home.
Sometimes, like tonight it's really annoying because it's yet another night you haven't talked to me before I sleep for a long time.
But it's more just like I tense up. You're out and busy and I'm just like no!
And I don't know why but I find myself complaining to you and whining about it and being stubborn
But then I piss you off and I say goodbye to you upset and I regret it
I really do love you
Maybe a little too much
And maybe a little too irrationally at times
I'm so sorry 

2 years

I love it when you call me your love, I guess it's just a new way you're expressing how much you love me. Reminds me that you don't just love me as my mom or dad does, but you're in love with me.
And I'm in love with you.  
Some day, just a couple years in the future now, we can be together on our anniversary. In the context of how long I want to be with you, two years is nothing.
You pamper me and spoil me and are so good to me. If you were here right now, you'd walk with me to class and nap with me after, brushing my hair off my face and kissing me in the way that only you know how. We'd eat good lunch, get some iced tea then have lots of sexy time til dinner. Then we'd go somewhere fancy, and I'd dress up in a dress you like and some lingerie you've never seen but want to take off already. Then we'd go have desperate, passionate sex until we fell asleep half naked in my bed.
And I'd be completely happy.
I miss you so much, you definitely have my heart with you every day, because you are my home.

I love you baby, congrats on making it two years with me. It wasn't easy, but we did it and I love us even more for it. 

just a little something

I love you.

Morning and Night

It used to be that I only missed you terribly at night
but I'm sitting here in class, listening to my badass professor
and he's talking about the ditch and palisade system of the people of Troy
and I miss you so much
I wish you were waiting at home for me in bed
keeping it warm for me
and waiting with your arms open when I got home
bear hugging me me and welcoming me back under the sheets 

Have I Told You Lately

Have I? 

That gets real religious real fast btw

Dear Brandon,

Meow.

Love, Aubrey 

Have You Been Thinking Bout Forever?

Have you really?
I honestly don't know how I feel about that word anymore.
I should be sensitive to it.
I've been avoiding it. (but actually i consistently stop myself from talking about it or using it around you)
It's neither probable nor improbable.

But I'd be lying if I said I haven't been thinking bout it too. 

It Isn't Fair

With all the time I think about you and images I put into my head of us, I should probably be making myself cy a lot more than I actually do.

You're right, I can't escape you. Some of the thoughts I have are so vivid and real that I find myself reaching out, trying to touch you. But you aren't there.

It isn't fair, it isn't fair. I can't stop thinking about you and it isn't fair. 

The Lovecats

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OP6w3yGr-DE

ignore the creepy pictures......

The Things You Do

as much as I bitch and moan about you doing stuff for hours at a time, id have to hate you if you didn't do anything at all.

I saw some picture nicole posted of you skating in sf and i was just like damn, that's my hottie.
All the things you make you so attractive to me. I just get ridiculous- but remember that.

(one of my favorite things you do is send me gifts.... so definitely keep that one up)

Sometimes

sometimes when i try and go to sleep at night i imagine you're laying next to me and holding me.

sometimes i think i can actually feel you there before i finally drift off and sleep like a baby. 

by the way

...you should take a look at my bio.

omgimsucharaverlikeomg

I Tried to Write a Title but I Really Hate Them

I realized walking home, after making this in a bolt of inspiration in Art+Archaeology, that you won't appreciate these letters as much as I do yours.

let me explain my other reasons for creating this blog:
1. I needed to make a blog that would over write the past that was Je Me Souviens. Seriously.
2. I need to become inspired pretty fucking soon to write my creative writing short story. This will get my creative juices flowing hopefully.
3. Remember when you made that blog about BK's world? lololololololol
4. I like writing letters so fuck you I'm writing them.

I really do hope you look forward to my letters at least half as much as I do yours though. I have some nice stuff to say to you. Nice lovey stuff :3

You're not the only one who gets to write letters. 

HaHA. You told me I couldn't reply to yours and I don't really want to do that. I'll write you your own ones. You deserve them. Letters are my thing after all- makes no sense to not be able to write my own.

When I went to Holland when I was 10, I was a history buff as I am now. But while my thing today is Ancient Greek and Roman history, French Gloire and Russian Revolutions, my thing then was WWII.
Don't ask me why.

Anyways it was a shock to me to actually be in Europe visiting Anne Frank's house and having my hotel room overlook bunkers. I didn't really want to know about WWII I don't know who I was kidding. I literally was not sleeping because I had such bad nightmares.
My Grandmother, Nana was the one who finally sat me down one night and told me to write letters to whoever I wanted about what I was afraid of. She told me to write down all of the things I was feeling and stuff I didn't want to say aloud.

So that's where my attachment to letters comes from. It really does help to write things out of your head.

Sometimes your head just gets too crowded.